Hyderabadi Classic

Enjoy this..it is really funny if u know Hyderabadi Hindi
slang. One of the classic hyderabadi jokes. ( Non - Hindi speakers , forgive me )

In Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny. His name is Chotu. His father is ambitious to educate Chotu.
Chotu goes to school located in Tappachaputra. Its principal is educated in Urdu high school and claims
that he passed tenth class! There is a school inspection thenext day and the conversation is as follows :

Teacher: Kal inispector ayinga. Kochchanaa (questions) puchinga. Sab achchaa padkey aau. Koi galath answer deengaa naa tho main uske pairaan thodtoon.

Chotu: Iski maakki. Kyun aara inispector? Kaam nai hai usku? Kya kochchanaa puchta kathey?
Teacher: Abey tereku kaiku re, tu kal school aanaaich nai. Tu tera moo khola to gaaliaan nikaltay. Tereku main absent nai daalthaun. Ghar pe baithkey gotiyaan khel. Tu school aayingaa to inispector ke saamney mere izzat
ki biryaani karke khaaingaa tu.

So our Chotu is excited, goes home and tells his father that he is not going to school the next day.

Father: Yeah kyaa hai..ischool hai paan dabba hai? Gaand pay maartoon saale tu ischool nai gaya to.

Chotu: Arey Bava, mera teacher bola nakko aao bolke.

Father: Usku akhal hai! Begum suno! Chotu ischool nai jayinga kathey kal. Agar ino ischool nai gaya to
kaise padhinga? Chotu, agar tu kal ischool nahin gaya naa, tere haathan pairaan thod daaltaun.

So Chotu cries and finally agrees to go to school. Next day at inschool,

Teacher is very upset to see Chotu back:

Teacher: Arey teri maakki. Nakko aao bole to bhi kyun aaya re?

Chotu: Mera bava gaand phodtaon bola ischool nai gaya to.

Teacher: offo?! Tera bava bola? Theek hai chal. Last bench pe baith aur inispector aya to chup jaa. Dikhnaich nai. Kuch bhi gadbad karinga naa meri noukri gaand lag jayingi.

So Chotu goes to sit in the last bench hiding behind a tall guy.

Inspector comes for the visit.

Inspector: Adaab.

Teacher: Adaab saab. Bachen acha padrain saab. Kochchanaa puchey to answeraan yun bolte.

Inspector: Abaa? Offo! Ithney kilever(clever) hai aapke bachchey? Achchaa, ek bahuth easy sawaal -
Hamarey body mein sab se nazook cheez kaun si hai?

Teacher: Arey Imtiyaz tu bata rey!

Imtiyaz: Saab, Kaleja saab..

Inspector: Aisa! ...... woh kyun?

Imtiyaz: Saab, kaleja hai to sab kuch hota. Agar woh gaya naa, kuch bhi nahin hota saab.

Inspector: Abaa, kya tez potta hai rey! Aur koi?

Teacher: Arey Akram, tu bata re.

Akram: Saab bheja saab. Bhejey ku khuch bhi hua to kuch yaad nahin rehta saab. Haathaan pairaan kaam
nai karthey,iscooter ku kick bhi nai maar sakthey saab.

Inspector: Abey Teacher, kya kya padaaraa re inku tu. ****iye ke jaiseich answeraan bolrai naa!!

In the meantime Chotu is trying very hard to hide but Inspector sees him. He thinks Chotu is hiding
because he does not know the answer.

Inspector: Woh last bench pe yun jhuk ke baithaa naa woh pottey ka naam kya hai?

Teacher: kaun saab? .......Woh! (iski bhain ku, kaiku dikhaa re tu) Woh Chotu hai saab.

Inspector: Chotu? Ye kya naam hai? Kahan-kahan se lagaathey re bhai naamaan! Chotu, woh lambu ke peechchey kaiku chchup raa tu?

Chotu: Saab main moo khola to teacher maaringi saab.

Inspector: Tereku yaa mereku??

Teacher: Arey kya baath kar reh saab, main kaiku maarthaum aapku. Ye potta ekdam badmaash hai saab, jhoot bolraa. Abey Chotu, answer maloom hain to bol nai tho khaamoosh baith jaa mere baap tere pau padthaum.

Chotu: Saab answer Gaand hai saab.

Teacher: Allah!! Ino moo khola to meri gaand lag gayi re!!!

Inspector: Abey kyaa to bhi bolra re! Sharam kar badon ke saamney aisaich baathaan karthey! Yeich
sikhaaye tumhaarey amma-bavaa? Gaand kahaan kaa answer hai re?

Chotu: Hau saab, gaand ich sabse naazook cheez hai. Kaiku boletho wahaan pe dilli mein baamb
phata....Yahan Hydrabad mein apni gaand phat thi....Yahaan old city mein gadbadaan shuru
hothey....wahaan new city mein sabki gaand phat thi gadbadaan wahaan phailtey kyaaki bolkey. Uttaa kyoon
saab,main yeh answer bolraun naa, mere teacher ki gaand phatrai dekho!